Severance: Pathway to New Beginnings

It’s been 2 weeks since my “position was eliminated” and as a consequence, I lost my job. I’ve officially completed my duties related to that job, signed the severance agreement and after two weeks of just letting myself feel it, I’m starting this week with less scheduled things, and more time to move forward. 

So, I thought I would document this journey moving forward. How I’ve been doing, what I’m doing to move forward, and what I’ve done over the last year to actually prepare for such a moment. And the messiness of it all. Because even though I didn’t get to leave on my own terms, I was preparing to leave at some undetermined point in the future. This is just because I like to grow and change and like new challenges.

And also life does not always go as planned (well, never really, it never goes as planned) - so you have a choice - to make the most of it, to let it be an opportunity to re-examine and re-create your life a bit, or to stay the same. My option is almost always the first - because there is usually something I want to shift in my life to make it better, or at the very least consciously choose to continue to do what I have been doing. Plus I’m a firm believer that we should  always have a “Plan B,” or as I’m calling it “Plan Me”. 

So, to catch you up, and in case it’s helpful, here’s what I’ve been doing over the last two weeks.

• Finished up what was necessary for my job
• Scheduled time with my financial planner
• Went out to lunches, dinners, drinks with colleagues and friends (I let them pay of course) 😂
• Connected with people - talked to dear friends and people who have been advocating for me throughout my career, and also people who aren’t connected to my career - people have been incredibly kind and supportive during this time
• Gave myself time - I decided I wasn’t going to make any big decisions just yet
• Took advantage of the time to take a quick trip to the beach to visit my sister and her family 
• Let my mind wander
• Took my dog for lots of walks
• Planted flowers and vegetables (nothing like getting your hands in the dirt)
• Maintained my workout routine
• Considered “what if” - more on this later…
• Listened to lots of favorite podcasts
• Felt all the feelings - excitement for the future; terror of what I will do if whatever I do doesn’t pan out; gratitude for the time I had with the company; and the colleagues and friends I have as a result; exhaustion; when I signed my severance agreement - another hit, another loss, another milestone; anger; sadness; loss; excited for future opportunities; lost; found - if you can name an emotion, I’ve probably felt it. And I’ve let myself feel it over the last couple of weeks
• I’ve taken SO many  naps. I’ve been worn out emotionally. I hit walls every day - it’s gotten better week by week. But I’ve indulged in a lot of napping
• Let myself breathe - sit outside, hear the birds, be grateful
• Ran errands in the middle of the day on a weekday! (I kinda felt like I was doing something wrong not tied to a desk)

It feels like I’ve done a lot - tried to be present with myself - tried to give myself what I’ve needed in the moment - gave myself permission to take a little time to absorb it and not just jump into the next thing, whatever that may be. I’m grateful that I have learned how to do this, to have patience with myself, and to let myself process emotion so that I can move cleanly to the next phase and stage. I’m sure there will be more ups and downs, but also more growth. And I’m looking forward to that as well. So, as I document this journey, as I do it on this blog that I started over the past year, and on this site that I built over the past year, as part of my “Plan Me”, I can’t wait to see what it holds.