Twists, Turns, and Triumphs: Lessons from 2023's Swerves

It’s been an interesting year for me, and perhaps for you too. It has challenged me, grown me, and certainly I have had both struggles and wins. It's hard to distill a year's worth of lessons into a summary, but here are my top 5 leadership lessons from this year revealed!

Expect the Unexpected

I could not have anticipated the events that would happen to me this year. Or last year. Or even the year before that. 

I could not anticipate how I have been forced to adapt, to adjust, and challenged to keep moving forward, even amidst grief, loss, uncertainty, anxiety, fear and doubt. And I could not anticipate the magic of it either.

The lesson here: Expect the unexpected. What I mean is, every year, something unexpected will happen. Even when it’s something good, it can bring new stress, or other unintended consequences. For me, learning to trust who I am, the strength and resilience I’ve built from past experiences, and leaning into the rituals that ground me when I am struggling most have helped me best. Cultivating those rituals, that resilience over time has been the best gift I’ve given myself - because something unexpected always happens.

Be open to growth - for yourself and others

Sometimes, I put myself in a box. “I couldn’t possibly do this or that.” Or I have a certain “vision” in my head for how something “should” be.

I’ve called this year “the great unlearning” for me. It’s an unlearning to find new ways to work, to try new things, to be open to huge failure. It’s exhilarating and terrifying all at once. And it’s kind of fun to challenge yourself to do something you don’t think is possible.

It’s also been a lesson to me to allow others to grow beyond the box and boundaries of what I have in my head “for them.” We get used to seeing others in a certain way, in a certain light. As they do you. So, allowing others to change as well, and giving some space and time for them to accept your own growth (to a certain point) is something I’ve learned too.

The lesson here: You never know what is actually possible until you try it. Action brings clarity. I don’t always know how something will turn out. But I can say unequivocally that I have tried new things and that I gave it my all - and I learned. Be open to the growth that you don’t even know is waiting for you; and open to others growing and changing as well.

Embrace the new with wisdom and kindness for yourself

 As I’ve alluded to, there are many unexpected changes in my life this year.

Learning to be open and embrace the new that I didn’t have a chance to actually choose (as so many things are not our choices), and to continue to believe that I can make lemonade out of lemons and become someone who then does things that surprise even myself (in a good way), has been a lesson I have continued to learn this year. It’s been several years of loss and grief for me. And I have been determined to move forward and to make lemonade.

So, this lesson for me is about embracing the new, reframing it and owning the present and future, even if I can’t control how I ended up here or what happened. The only thing I can control is me - how I show up, how I live my values, how I move forward in a way that aligns with my own integrity, and who I am. So, with that is some wisdom of past experiences, of being able to navigate the unknown a little better than I used to, and also to then show some kindness to myself - giving myself grace and the gift of imperfection (to quote Brené Brown).

This leads me to the next of my Top 5 leadership lessons:

The biggest leadership challenge is often in leading yourself

Managing your own mind can often be one of the biggest challenges in leadership. It certainly has been for me, especially this year. 

Reminding myself of my strengths, how I’ve survived and thrived from past challenges and experiences, are just a few of the tactics I use to get my mind back on track. I’ve also learned new techniques of positive intelligence which have helped disrupt the internal judgment that we all may be familiar with, and to tap into wiser parts of myself.

The lesson here: Mindset is always something to build and manage and grow. As we are faced with new roles, new leadership challenges, being able to manage our own internal chatter, disrupt ourselves in the moment, and becoming the person we want to be is an infinite game. 

Which leads me to my final leadership lesson for 2023

Be mindful of who you surround yourself with

One of the most positive aspects of this year for me has been growing an entirely new network of friends and colleagues, as well as selectively nurturing and maintaining other relationships.

It has made a MASSIVE difference in my mindset, in my willingness to try new things, and in my ability to move forward in a different way. Although I run my company alone, I certainly do not do it alone. I am surrounded by amazing friends, family, and other entrepreneurs who cheer me on, encourage and challenge me.

It’s often said that we are most like the 5 people that we surround ourselves with the most. I have found this to be true. The number doesn’t matter as much. It can be 5 or 10, but when you audit who you spend the most time with, you may like what you see, and you may not. For me, this year, this intentional community building has been life giving and rejuvenating.

So…that’s it! My top 5 lessons from this year. I’ve learned a lot more, and I am going to continue to learn and grow as I move forward. I’m looking forward to what 2024 will bring. I can guarantee it will include some unexpected gifts and some unexpected challenges!